I haven’t really had any really crazy customers lately, but we at Ziggler are sure getting our fair share of slightly crazy.
Like Johnny at the service desk, he had two women who made quite the impression. The first woman came in to return a shirt. Too bad it was the shirt she was wearing when she came into the store. She told Johnny, “This is a small, and I need a large, what should I do?” Johnny just looked at her, dumbfounded by this woman’s stupidity and just told her to grab the right shirt, change in the dressing room and then he would do the exchange after. Like Johnny said, “Typical blonde”.
The next woman who came in had some problems with getting her tongue tied. This is the exchange Johnny had with this woman.
“My son is allergic to penis, I mean peanuts, and I need to return this candy because it has penis, I mean peanuts in it. I swear I’m not saying that on purpose, I’m sorry.” Johnny had to use all of his energy not to laugh in her face.
Sally Mae also told me a story about how she told a woman to have a nice day, something we are contractually obligated to say to every customer, and the woman slowly took off her sunglasses, looked Sally Mae dead in the eye and said, “My son has cancer,” put her sunglasses back on and left. Sorry about your son, but what the hell are we supposed to say to that?
And today, I had an awful woman who fought me over a pineapple, actually shoving me aside at one point. I was working the self scan registers and she had picked out a pineapple that had no UPC on it. She hollered at me to come help her and constantly reminded me that she was in hurry. Which, let me tell you, has the complete opposite effect, it just makes me want to take my sweet time. I had someone grab a new pineapple, one with a UPC and rang it up for her. My intention, and what common sense tells you, is that she take the pineapple without the tag and I put the one with a tag back on the shelf, so the next customer doesn’t have to go through the hassle. As I went to hand the pineapple with the tag to another employee, the woman shoved me aside and grabbed for the other pineapple. “I want that one! Give it to me.” I was instantly taken back to the days when I worked in a daycare and she sounded just like a toddler. I told her I was going to put it back and she yelled again, “I want that one!” I shoved the pineapple at her and said, very loudly and rudely, “Whatever.”
These have been our slightly crazies, hopefully that will tide you all over until we get another douzy at Ziggler.